I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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