She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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