wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
