i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
