Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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