why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
