Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
