Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
