You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we're so committed to being not committed
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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