btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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