i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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