he thought i was a dude.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My vagina just clenched in fear
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