Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
