But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
