I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
