I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
