I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
