Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
