And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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