Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
