ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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