Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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