I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
