I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
