Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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