It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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