This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
