You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
