You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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