Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
