I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
