so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
