I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
