he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
