2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
