I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
