how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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