Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
