What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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