Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you didnt know i had herpes?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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