haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's even glitter on my cock...
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