we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize