just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
