Can i not drive my cunt home
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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