Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
