I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
