Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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