Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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