I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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