At least make sure they are 18
Why
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
