what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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