I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
