apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
