help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
