is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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