drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
