It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
