I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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