how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize