you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
