we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
