no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
