He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
