Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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