Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bring me that man meat
Is Oprah even human
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
